She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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