i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
