i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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