i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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