I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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