I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We need to rekindle our bromance
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
