the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
