But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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