if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
