i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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