airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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