you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
