I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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