just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Plan B is the new Plan A
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
