Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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