That's intense
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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