Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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