Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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