Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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