i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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