I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
