i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
