I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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