life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
50% drunk capacity currently
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
