Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have post one night stand depression
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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