Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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