He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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