He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
