you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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