Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
