So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
