I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
