i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
