Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
