I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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