Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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