He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
