i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
