I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
