but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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