I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
