Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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