Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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