you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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