Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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