i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
