Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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