That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
