Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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