16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
